What you talking about Willis?

What did you say?
Man!!! I think what would have happen to my life if I knew then what I know now!
If I knew that what matter most was not what others said about me, but what I said about me.  The narrative in my mind would have been so different.
Well I can't do nothing about the past, but I have the right and responsibility to do something now.

We have old tapes playing in the background of our minds called unconscious thinking.  This is based on old experiences, both good and bad. The painful memories carve a deeper pattern of thinking in our minds to remind us of what to do when another event of pain happens like the original one.   This is in order to have a set of rules in place to prevent future pain and to have a ready response for the event at present.

This kind of defense mechanism doesn't work when it's our own thoughts that's causing the damage.
 
What do we do when the way we talk to ourselves is the issue that keep us stuck.

1. ​We must realize that our current thought process is our of alignment with God's plan and what He thinks about us.  Jer. 29:11
2. We must get into His Word to find out what He's saying about us, then purpose to begin to say, what He says. Ps. 139:17
3. Be on the look out for rouge thoughts that pop up to take us captive once again to old thinking and ways of living. Matt. 6:25
4. Keep a journey of your thinking and the feelings attached to them.
5. Be patent with the change.  Change just takes time!  You've been thinking in  a self destructive way for most of your life, so cut yourself some slack as you change. 1 Co. 15:58
6. Depend on God to change you!  We can not change ourselves, but we take responsibility, and partner with Holy Spirit as he does the transformation.  John 8:32