Strange voices can lead us to strange places, while the Shepherd's voice leads us beside still waters, and restores our souls.
There were many years that I had movement, but no progress, I was a victim for sure.
Progress is a moving forward into new place of success. One of the most interesting things is that I was also successful being non-productive.
I spent many years listening to the wrong voice. I grew up in very negative home, where fear reigned. Fear was instill, and lived out in every way. We were afraid of every thing.
As a result I listened to the voice of fear, and became successful and even gained a masters degree in under-achieving. How did God take me from that place to this place? I started listening to another voice, the Voice of the Father.
God placed me in a new family (www.liftc.com) and while sitting and hearing the Word under new spiritual parents Apostle Jeff & Maria Hunter, I begin little by little to do the Word, The Word of God activated through your actions is what renews your mind.
I started to walk out of fear and victimization on purpose and because of these small steps of faith, that I am still taking, by the way, I'm walking as a son of God as my authentic self and not an orphan.
Until you understand that you can choose to walk out of the victim mentality, you may keep choosing it as a way of life, or maybe fear comes and goes like it does me, but living as an overcoming has become the way I choose to live now!
No matter where you are or what may be coming against you in the way of fear, you can and must keep choosing faith and walking forward.
We will get things wrong, we will get back up, and the main thing, we will not listen to the voice of fear!
Unfinished, incomplete and lack of substance were words that I used to describe my spoken word piece that I started drafting 8 years ago. What I didn’t realize was that these very same words were an accurate description of my life during that season as well… Ouch! I was blinded to this truth because I hadn’t yet fully accepted it, verbalized it nor was I ready and willing to address it. “It” was the 2-letter word that I used to reference my internal pains that stemmed from promiscuous behavior, unconfirmed value and the need to hide my true self for fear of judgement.
As the years progressed, the roller coaster continued and so did God’s grace over my life. An ugly, emotional and gruesome stare down in the mirror started me on my journey of self-love which has led to healing, self-forgiveness and reestablishing my worth. I now realize that this piece just like my life was unfinished, incomplete and lacked substance because at that time the magnitude of the hurt was much stronger than the love I had for myself and my relationship with God. This all confirmed that awareness is just the beginning and not the definitive.
“Warfare” is a glimpse of my pains which ultimately became the pivotal point in my journey back to wholeness. Although my “it” may be different than the next persons I encourage anyone in warfare against themselves to be sure to let the best version of YOU win.
I’m just a wandering soul trapped within
In search of a window, an outlet, an escape
From this fantasy lifestyle that I’ve chosen
As I flip the pages of my brain uncovering
Hurt, disdain, low self-esteem, sexism, promiscuity and hatred
All pains associated with me internally
Yet further imposed upon me by our society
As I embark upon this intimate and gruesome warfare
In search of wholeness stirring inwardly
To my surprise… I realize that I am her and she is me
So when the battle is over who shall proclaim true victory
Without rules of engagement I approach my opponent head on
And what do I see…
This bold, beautiful, courageous and powerful woman staring back at me
She holds a great advantage because she knows all of me
My weakness, triggers, ugly truths, forbidden secrets
And now even my war strategies
Yet I still engage and attack in hopes to guard my flawed reality
Strike after strike I become relentless, fatigued, and all to my disadvantage
Then comes the thoughts to surrender, call it truce because I cannot bare the damage
The damage to my temple through countless intruders
The soul connections that flourished and mentally consumed us
Because I am her and she is me
See she wants to flee but selfishly
She remains captivated because I’m afraid to accept this new identity
Afraid of what people may think of me
Afraid to leave things behind and disassociate them from me
Afraid to do the work internally
Afraid to set my, to set my soul so free
And we meet again, toe to toe, soul to soul
Then she proceeds to speak into me
Over and over again
You are beautiful
You are enough
You are destined for greatness
You are valuable beyond what your eyes can see
Just the opposite of what I’d expect my opponent to boast so proudly
These words were more powerful than the tears, the wounds and the bloodshed
So powerful that I started to see myself differently
You know like the bold, beautiful, courageous and powerful woman staring back at me
See my opponent’s only mission was to remind me
That self-love holds the key
To my freedom and newfound reality
I may have lost the battle
But I’ve gained the greatest victory and that is self-love
I love me without conditions
You are always giving yourself something"
Lacy Lange is a writer and Empowerment Speaker who lives in Michigan with her husband of 25 years, Roger and has two adult sons, and two grand-kids.